Where I choose to live...
not talking about a house or an apartment or a condo...
talking about where *mentally* I exist.
I could opt for pie in the sky future, bust out the rose colored glasses, stir in a winning lotto ticket, heap on the goodies of materialism - and really live there. But what would that accomplish? Inevitably I would be forced to compare that with reality - the results would force me into a temporary, yet very dark, depression.
I could opt for the golden view of yesteryear - alternated for variety with all the mistakes and awful moments which just won't succumb to the mind eraser. I could relive every bit of it - better and with more wit and wisdom. But it wouldn't change where I am now - the choices have been made, the awful moments suffered thru.
Or, I could, in Random Penny signature fashion - embrace where I am (however awful or blissful) and immerse myself in this life wholeheartedly. When I am with my children, really be there, hear them, guide them, most importantly love them. When I am at work, really be there, craft a career, relish my tasks, learn and grow and lead. When I am alone, really be there facing my demons, planning my future, dealing in reality, being a healthy me. When I am in my alternate universe, really be there, enjoying the people who are there, being grateful for the activities provided, savoring the food, the time, the morsels, the delight.
Really live - here and now.
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1 comment:
That's always been the choice I've made. Simply because I never really have had any other choice. And I don't seem to be too upset about that. I don't think you are, either. I think sometimes the chaos is what make you feel alive, and what makes life feel like it's worth living. Even when it hurts. The pain, as they say, reminds you that you're not dead yet.
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