Love

I finally figured out that I would like to be in love - to be loved, to really be cherished by another human being who is not coerced in anyway to have any interest in me.

It isn't critical that I experience this - it just is something I have resisted in the past because it was unlikely, risky. If it happens to me it will be wonderful - and now I will quit resisting those relationships which might develop into something like this... yes - you can resist love....I know - I have been doing it for awhile on many levels.

You might interpret this as me being unloving - but quite the contrary - I have always been willing to love, adore, cherish and tend people who are in my life. Receiving is the challenge...
To be clear, this doesn't mean I want to get married and have babies again (not saying no to it, just saying it isn't part of the criteria). I just want to have the experience of knowing when I wake up in the morning there is another adult on this planet who wants very much to see me, desires to spend time with me and prefers me over others...

My biggest challenge to this entire scenario - me believing it can happen - and then a person nuts enough to go there with me....

Oddly enough, I have plenty of friends who I know love me dearly - it is that romantic aspect which would require a guy to love me dearly that is so far outside my mental capabilities to even conceptualize....